Katteni Kaizou chapter 3

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Congratulations Umi?!

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Kaizou's Mom: Umi!

Umi: Oh, Kaizou's mother.  Good morning.

Mom: He forgot his lunch.  Would you be a dear and take it to him?

Umi: Oh... sure thing.

Mom: He doesn't do anything weird at school, does he?  I worry about him so much...

Umi: Um...  well...  more or less...

Mom: Please take care of Kaizou, Umi.  You're my only hope.

Umi: Uhhhh...

Mom: He wasn't always that way.  Only since the day he got that bump on his head...

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Mom: Here are some photos from that day.

(9:00 AM) Pre-retardation
(4:00 PM) Post-retardation

Mom: He had this little footprint on his back, like he'd been kicked or something.

Umi: {S-she knows what happened...}

Mom: Take care of Kaizou for me.

Umi: Y, yes ma'am!
	I'll take responsibility for Kaizou...
	and make sure he becomes a normal member of society again...!

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Umi: I'm partly responsible for him, but it's gonna be impossible to fix a personality like that...

<<Kaizou: Look at that cloud.
	It's a bunny!

<<Umi: It is!
	What a "romantist" you are, Kaizou.  You're so cool!

<<Kaizou: Hehe.  yeah.

<<Umi: Okay, I decided I'm gonna be your wife.

<<Kaizou: Fine with me.

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Umi: There were those times, too.  Huh?

Kaizou: A GREY...

Umi: Aaah!

Kaizou: Is it a sign of an imminent attack on Earth?
	Or is it a challenge to all humankind?!

Umi: SHUT UP!!

Kaizou: Why'd she hit me?

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Sign: Science-vestigation club

Umi: It's acidic...

Kaizou: U...  Umi, are you...  PREGNANT?!

Umi: WHAT?!

Kaizou: I know what that is.  It's one of those pregnancy tester things!

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Kaizou: If it's red, it means you're expecting.  I heard some girls talking about in town the other day.

Umi: This is Litmus paper!!

Kaizou: Who's the father?!

Umi: Would you listen to me?!

Suzu: Donations for the abortion fund.

Chitan: I didn't think she was that kind of girl...

Umi: Stop it, you guys!!

Suzu: Kaizou, you have to donate a thousand yen for the cause.

Kaizou: No!!  We don't have the right to take away another life, no matter how small!!

Umi: I told you, I'm NOT PREGNANT!!

Kaizou: Just who were you knockin' boots with?

Umi: Stop talking like that!!

Suzu: Of course you don't remember.  You were just too drunk...

Kaizou: Ah...

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Suzu: It was three months ago, during the Indian summer.
	At a nearby bar, you drank three beers, six shots of hard liquor, and three glasses of Kahlua milk.
	Totally piss drunk, you decided to pay her a visit at 9 PM...

Kaizou: No!  It wasn't me...

Suzu: Aided by your inebriation and the weather, you tied up her hands and feet, despite her protests, and...

Kaizou: You know, I'm getting the feeling that I DID do it.

Suzu: You did it!

Kaizou: I did it.

Umi: No you didn't!!

Kaizou: We did a lot of stuff.

Umi: What's going through your head?!

Kaizou: I need to go think!!

Umi: What is wrong with him...?

Suzu: Case closed.

Chitan: Um, about the abortion fund...

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Umi: W...  what's going on...?

Friend: Umi!!
	Wow!  Where'd you find the guts to go and get pregnant?!  (3 months already?)

Umi: Huh?  I'm not pregnant!!

Friend: The whole school knows about it.

Teacher: Natori, I'd like to see you in the counseling office.

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Umi: I'll...  I'll never forgive him for this.  My image of purity has been soiled...

Kaizou: Hey Umi!  I bought you a bunch of sour stuff.

Umi: It's your fault the whole school is treating me like a pregnant teen!
	Give me back my VIRGINITY!!

Kaizou: Virginity...  I see...  so I was your first.

Umi: That's not what I meant!
	Just cut it out already!!  Ah...

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Umi: K...  Kaizou...

Kaizou: You're not just one body anymore.
	Let's have a healthy baby, and raise a wonderful family.

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Umi: {Oh God, what am I blushing for...?
	I feel so stupid.}

Kaizou: Your stomach's really sticking out.

Umi: I'm not pregnant!!

Kaizou: Why'd she hit me?

Sign: Science-vestigation club

Suzu: What a terrible misfortune.

Umi: This is your fault, too!

Kaizou: Professor!!

Umi: What is it now?!

Kaizou: Make Umi a cyborg!!

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Umi: What do you mean?!

Kaizou: I'm a cyborg, remember?!
	CYBORGS DO NOT AGE!

Suzu: Do cyborgs age?

Chitan: I dunno...

Kaizou: As my wife and child grow older, I'll remain a fit and lively 17!!

(r-l)
Me(17), Kid(10), Umi(28)
Me(17), Kid(52), Umi(70)

Kaizou: Poor Umi.

Me(17), Umi(90)

Umi: How rude!
	Even if you do turn me into a cyborg...  what about the child?!
	He'll be the only one who gets older!

Kaizou: Haha.  You silly girl.
	If both parents are cyborgs,
	the child will be a cyborg too, of course.

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Suzu: He has a point.

Umi: No he doesn't!

Kaizou: Professor, make Umi into a really awesome cyborg, so I don't have to be embarrassed to have her as a wife.

Suzu: Well, I don't know...

Kaizou: And after you cyborg-erize her, make her chest bigger.  And her legs should look like Hinano's...  (Hinano Yoshikawa, an idol)

Umi: I'LL KILL YOU!

Chitan: I like nice, firm thighs...
	Why me...?

[Blueprints]

[Umi Natori Profile]
[Birthdate: July 20th.
B90 W58 H85
Now performing in "Scorpio Detective Kunoichi's Ninjutsu"!
Send us your fan letters!!

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Kaizou: Whoa, cyborg Umi is HOT.

Umi: That doesn't look like me at ALL!

Suzu: How 'bout if missiles shoot out of her boobs?

Kaizou: Oooh, I like that.

Umi: NOOOO!

Kaizou: By the way, professor, when is the baby due?

Suzu: When?
	Well, how about...  tomorrow.

Kaizou: Tomorrow!
	I see, so cyborg babies are born much faster than normal ones.
	Oh boy, I'm so excited!

Chitan: Are you sure you should be telling him things like that?

Suzu: I can't help it.
	Now, let's make a baby.

{The next day]

Kaizou: So it's finally here!
	This is my baby...

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Kaizou: NO IT'S NOT!

Chitan: I thought this would happen.

Umi: I don't want it either.


finis