Katteni Kaizo chapter 4 Poetic Intentions?! if a lot of this doesn't seem to make any sense (and it won't, trust me), it's because there are lots of poetry jokes that i am simply unable to decode/understand. so please, bear with me... also remember poetry always depends on the reader so if it makes sense to you... i dunno. if you could place the following disclaimer on it i would much appreciate it. "the translator makes no claims for the accuracy of the "poetry" contained within. read at your own risk." 03-008.jpg Girl: Hah, hah, hah Man: PEELS BACK NOT IN RAIN!! PEELS BACK NOT IN WIND!! this refers to a poem you can find here... the japanese is changed by only one syllable, as it originally means, "undefeated by rain, undefeated by wind". But you'll see the significance of the change later... http://home.clara.net/wabei/xlation/miyazawa/amenimo.htm Man: THAT IS THE KIND I WANT TO BE! Girl: Ow... NOOOOOOOOO!! 04-001.jpg Umi's sign: Please buy my poetry collection 1 book 300 yen ----------------- Science-vestigation Club Chitan: Waaaaah, Suzu, help me! Suzu: Look at poor little Nobita. (Note: A Nobita is a stereotypical weenie who cries for help, based on the Nobita from Doraemon, who (as you might have guessed) always ends up crying to Doraemon for help.) Chitan: Look, someone stuck this embarrasing poem on my back! Poem: Aaah, you cry Gouge you out Pull out your hairy pubes Suzu: A poem? Umi: Kaizou must have done it. Kaizou: w'sup. Umi: Pfft! Kaizou's face: Town Square Town Square One day will bring you false malaria 04-002.jpg Kaizou: What? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! When...? Umi: How could you not notice? You guys are so dumb. This is what you get for standing around, not paying attention. Suzu: Umi, your legs... Umi: Aaaaah!! Umi's Legs: These legs are nice, you say So July 6th is Sumata Memorial Day (Note: Sumata is a sexual technique where the guy squeezes his wang in between the girl's legs.) Umi: That's despicable!! Kaizou: Yes, totally unforgivable. How come his poem is cooler than mine?! Umi: That's not the problem!! -------------- Suzu: You know, I've been hearing stories lately about a group of poets who are stirring up trouble in society. Kaizou: (Wiped off his face) A group of poets who cause trouble... They would be... enemies, then. Suzu: What makes you say that? Umi: THEY ARE! Kaizou: Umi, it seems you've finally become conscious of your role as a member of the Science-vestigation club. Umi: No, this is personal! I'll find 'em and cut 'em up! Chitan: But how will you find them? Man: Are we the ones you're looking for? Kaizou: W... What the?! Man: Yes, we are... 04-003.jpg Men: THE SCREAMING CHAMBER POT CLAN!! And I am the leader, Dorian Mukegawa. -------------- Dorian: ALLLLLL WE CAN DOOOOOO IS All: CONTINUE TO SCREAAAAAAAM Umi: For God's sake, put some clothes on!! All: WHYYYYYY DO YOU WANT TO CUT US UUUUUUP ALLLL WE WANT TO DO IS EXPRESS OURSELVES THROUGH POETRY. WE AREN'T DOING ANYTHING WRONG!! Kaizou: You know, I think they're right. Umi: They're not wearing any clothes! Kaizou: That's right, in this country, full nudity in public is a felony! As sad as it is... Umi: What's so sad about it?! Dorian: We are NOT entirely nude! Kaizou: You're right!! Then, half-nude. Umi: They are not half-nude. 04-004.jpg Kaizou: Okay, 4/5 nude. No, maybe 7/8 nude... Umi: The percentage doesn't matter! Writing such an OBSCENE poem on my leg deserves certain death! Dorian: Well, it appears you will not forgive us. But how can you possibly find our weak point?! *ow, ow* How did you know? Kaizou: It's pretty obvious. ------------- Dorian: Oh well, our weak point has been revealed! Withdraw! Kaizou: Hey, wait! Wait! Damn, I lost sight of them. Huh? Is there no one who fits this chamber pot?! Umi: This isn't Cinderella!! 04-005.jpg Dorian: Perhaps, I might... Kaizou: Ooh, perfect fit. And Cinderella and Prince Charming lived happily ever after. Umi: NOOO! Dorian: D... damn. It's not fair to take advantage of another with that dreamy Cinderella story! Yes, it was inevitable that we would be found! But, how can you attack us NOW?! ----------- Dorian: What will happen to the adorable little goldfishies? Kaizou: Rrrnnnnn... Umi: I can't stand this anymore! Suzu, do something about these disgusting people! Suzu: Hmmmmm. Well, how about this...? 04-006.jpg Suzu: Just kidding... Dorian: Forgive me, little goldfishies! Suzu: I made it just in case this kind of thing ever happened. Umi: Even Tokyo Hanzu sells them. Dorian: I hatechu, I hatechu, I hatechu! (Childish Punch) Suzu: Hatechu? Narrator: Allow me to explain. When Dorian Mukegawa's chamber pot comes off, his foreskin extends, reverting to a "little boy dick", and turning Dorian into a little child again. -> put on ADULT peels back <- pull off CHILD extends (Note: Mukegawa refers to his foreskin.) Dorian: Look, a tunnel! Guys: Oh no, the leader's in big trouble! ------------- Guys: Blow him a new chamber pot! Here you go, sir! Dorian: 100 PERCENT HEALTHY!! Kaizou: It's Anpan-man! (Note: An old little kids' anime character.) Dorian: Yow, it's hot! Suzu: Well, duh... Dorian: How dare you strike back at me. Kaizou: You did all of that yourself. Dorian: Then how about THIS?! 04-007.jpg Kaizou: Wow... it makes you look so rich! Dorian: I didn't put it in there AFTER I made it! [How to make a ship-in-a-bottle] 1. First stick your dick in the bottle. (Limp) 2. Insert tweezers through the extra space and construct the ship. 3. Get it up and seal off the hole. Dorian: It took three months. Kaizou: T... three months... what about your dick? Dorian: I didn't wash it, OF COURSE. Kaizou: Don't brag about it! NO! I cannot allow anything so filthy to remain within the school! I'll pulverise it!! [At that moment, Kaizou's animal-senses registered a great danger nearby.] [Yes, the bottle was filled with foul gas emitted by a penis unwashed for three whole months.] Chitan: Er... Bwaah! --------------- Kaizou: Don't say a damn word. Dorian: Ughhh... 04-008.jpg Dorian: Chamber pots tell no lies... (Note: A pun. The original phrase is "Dead men tell no lies", but the phrase was slightly altered in Japanese.) Kaizou: Don't even think about it. Now, if you've learned your lesson, you might want to try being a productive member of society. Dorian: Productive to society...? [Thereafter, they became of use to society as neko-yoke pet bottles.] (Note: Neko-yoke pet bottles are pet bottles that have been used and refilled with water. They are then placed outside a house, supposedly to keep the cats away.) Sign: Shimonoge Shimonoge: Wouldja mind not doin' this in fronta MY house...? Chitan: Why me...? Kaizou: They're not working very well. Umi: I don't think effectiveness is the problem here.