Super Cruel and Terrible Tales of Mangaka
	 Act 5 - Anguish
	  Chapter 23
	   Cancelled!

 - Page 143 -

Anguish

 - Page 144 -

 - Page 145 -

Editor: Umiushi-sensei, I know this is sudden, but "Sleepytime Thugmaster" will be cancelled next week.

Umiushi: Whaaaaaaat?!

Chapter 23: Cancelled!

Umiushi: But you can't! I've only just finished the 2nd round of the tournament! There are still 11 enemies left!

Editor: Yeah, but the decision's come down from above.

 - Page 146 -

Editor: Reader response was muted.

Umiushi: But no!
	What happened to the Shonen Shitbug policy of only creating great manga, and not being tied down by survey responses?!

Editor: Oh, that? That was just to shut you guys up.

Umiushi: I-I put EVERYTHING into this manga!
	I quit my job and staked my entire living on this!

Editor: Yeah, but that doesn't matter to US.
	Just accept that you ran out of luck, and give up.
	(good luck with the last chapter)

Umiushi: This is beyond unfair!

THE FOLLOWING IS AN ACTUAL, IRONCLAD LAW OF THE INDUSTRY.

...A piece of work submitted to a contest wins a prize and is selected to become a serial. It 
conquers the #1 spot on the surveys, sells a million books, gets an animated TV program, and the 
author is experiencing smooth sailing the rest of the way. EVERYONE ELSE who is a mangaka or 
prospective mangaka would do good to remember the following:

"YOUR STORY WILL GET CANCELLED WITHOUT WARNING. YOUR MAGAZINE WILL GO UNDER WITHOUT WARNING."

Umiushi: Aaaaah!
	I wish I hadn't bought this urban apartment on a 20-year loan the moment I got my serial!
	I wish I hadn't gone and gotten married,

Wife: (huh?)

Umiushi: The moment I got my serial!

 - Page 147 -

Umiushi: I wish I hadn't leased these fax and copy machines,
	the moment I got my serial!
	I wish I hadn't bought this 1/20th scale Gundam model,
	the moment I got my serial!

Assistants: Umiushi-sensei,
	it's our payday, you know.
	Give us our money.
	We need munny.

Umiushi: Oh God, and I REALLY wish I hadn't hired 10 assistants the moment I got my serial!

Assistant: Moneyz.
	Give 'em up.

Umiushi: N-no, no no no!
	I can't pay you now that my series has been cancelled! I'll be hung out to dry!

Assistant: You aren't gonna pay us?!
	We don't work for free!
	You're gonna get it now!
	Kick his ass!

Umiushi: Eeep!

Assistant: Just take anything worth money.
	I'll get his computer.
	I could use these screentones.
	Ooh, an autograph from Tachinosuke Chikubi-sensei!

Umiushi: Urrrgh.

 - Page 148 -

Umiushi: Yamamoto, my fellow mangaka friend! Buy me some lunch!

Yamamoto: Blast your cursed hide!
	Begone, foul demon of misfortune!
	I will not willingly damn my good luck by hanging out with an untouchable, cancelled mangaka!

Bag: Salt

Umishi: Nooo.

Yamamoto: Your aura of misery will infect me! Out of my sight!

Editor: Well, I think it's all VERY well drawn, but our magazine was just redesigned, and we simply 
	don't have the leeway for it. We've just gotten a new head editor, and I just don't think 
	this will, hmm, quite SUIT the new style, you see. It's a bad time for publishers, and 
	we're feeling the squeeze as much as anyone...

Phone: Umiushi, I've heard your story was cancelled. Come back home and get a real job. Put your dear parents at ease.

Umiushi: Aaaaaahhh!
	Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up!

Wife: Mmmm, c'mon, honey...

 - Page 149 -

Umiushi: Unhand me, woman!
	We don't have the money to be playing baby-making games!
	You're on blowjob duty from here on out!

Wife: Mmrrgll!
	I'm going back to my parents'.

Umiushi: Noooo!
	Screw it all! What did I ever do wrong?

Yakuza: Come with me, pal.

Umiushi: Eeek!

The existence of "luck" is a very questionable topic, if one looks at it logically. But there is 
no denying the fact that Goro Umiushi's life looked like that of a man falling straight down a 
hill. Every well-meaning move backfired on him. Maybe there IS something to this business. An 
energy of misfortune that cannot be explained or understood with science or common sense.

Umiushi: {And so,
	I decided to start an experiment.}

 - Page 150 -

Umiushi: I will use this last chapter as a conduit into which I will funnel all of my "misfortune energy."
	My bad luck will corrode away your own GOOD luck.
	All of you wretched mangaka who read this! Next will be YOUR turn!
	Within a month, your OWN serial will be cancelled! (If you are a prospective mangaka, your submission will be rejected!!)
	You are cancelled! Cancelled!!
	You are GOING TO HELL!!!!!

 - Chapter 23 End -