Japan Tengu Party Illustrated Volume 2 Supplement - Page 227 - (Book-ending Supplement) End of the Century Guide to Success LET'S BE TENGU Pics: Tengu Monkey, Tengu Leafhopper, Tengu Butterfly Tengu Bat, Tengu Fish, Tengu Mushrooms As the 20th Century comes to an end around us, is it truly right that we should waste away our days in idleness? No doubt among our readers are those who witness the plight of our material world and think, "This cannot stand," "I must do something," and then, excitedly, "I am brimming with possibilities," and "I simply know I am different from normal people," as they tremble with delight. As a matter of fact, this is no mere flight of imagination. Whether a fantasy stays a fantasy or becomes reality is simply a matter of practice. So, let us become tengu and welcome the 21st Century in transcendental style! - Pages 228 & 229 - Title: Draft - The Conviction of Determination The following is a simplified schematic of the steps of training, but depending on circumstances, unexpected outcomes and paths are possible, so results may vary. Board: Reflect on yourself and return to the start (what the heck) 50 push-ups 50 sit-ups Move forward 3 Grin into a mirror (grin grin) Eat bad leftover scraps: lose one turn Sleep on the street Sleep on a pretty lady's legs (this is paradise) Drown in nostalgia and homesickness Plant hemp in the yard and jump over it (hah!) Repeat previous step for 60 days Suffer master's admonitions! Jump from 2nd floor (heyaa!) Essays: Do not be lax in thy discipline It is the physical and mental agility and wellness nurtured by daily personal bettering that could spell the difference between a panicked, belated decision and a smart, cool-headed approach when emergency is nigh. If one has the dignity of a tengu, it could never be a foolish idea to learn a mystick tengu art or two, even if the need to make use of them should never arise. Bodily abilities should be strengthened through regular daily practice. The popular consumerist activity of "sports" should be avoided, to prevent longing for foolish human economic behavior. Sustenance must be self-gathered. Alcohol, tobacco, cannabis, opiates, stimulants, hallucinogens and cold medicines are prohibited. Wives are to be sent to their parents' home and lovers are to be discarded. The works of Iou Kuroda may be bought to serve as personal guide. Hold faith Wishing upon yonder star may not grant your desire, but a wish unmade is never granted. As the saying goes, "Anything viewed through the eyes of faith seems perfect," so must the proper mindset of tengu be maintained. With the correct disposition, one's head and back become straighter, one's breast swells and demeanor grows regal and advanced. As time passes, your family and friends will sing your praises. "You grow less human by the day," they will crow. When one is tengu at heart, there IS no time to interact with the lesser human race. If free time is somehow obtained, it should be spent on preening and self-flattery. Becoming active An elevated consciousness and powerful anatomy are entirely useless when wasted. They make one not only sub-tengu, but sub-human as well. Of course, this does not refer to actions for the sake of the world or your fellow man, which are entirely pointless. A tengu's life must be spent in the pursuit of pure avarice and goals incomprehensible to the primitive human mind. If the actions made to achieve these goals must be justified, why have you become a tengu? For those unsure of their goals, it is recommended you consult the local branch of the Tengu Party of Japan or the publications of Party-related companies. - Page 230 - Board: Jump from 5th floor Make it a full 10 (you mean commandments?)(boiiing!) * Due to physical risk, these steps may be substituted by "eat 2, 5, 10 dumplings" One Tengu COMING UP (Prof. Clark) Congratulations! You make a splendid tengu. You are no longer the you of yesterday! Do enjoy the rest of your long, transcendental life. Note to mothers: As the 20th Century comes to an end around us, we find the world more full of overstimulated youngsters succumbing to temptations than ever before. Abundance of information and high quality of life have destroyed critical faculties, leading many young people to not only say such young-people-ish things as "I am brimming with possibilities," and "I simply know I am different from normal people," but dangerous full-fledged nonsense such as "This is no mere flight of imagination." It is true that there are many things in the world not clear-cut and explainable with science, but the world is not so clear-cut that it can be cut into clear-cut and unclear-cut things. The human world is less simple than integer division, so be sure to make things obtuse enough to your children that they do not become haughty tengu. - Volume 2 End -